Archive for March, 2008

College people are overly addicted to duct tape and use it to their advantage in many bizarre and quite frankly strange ways.

You see, college people are clumsy and therefore duct tape comes in handy whenever they break something and need to fix it.

When college people are out of toilet paper, duct tape is a blessing. The stickiness of it does the job surprisingly well.

Since college people are poor, many use duct tape to cover up holes in their pants or shorts. It’s becoming the latest fashion trend in college these days.

Overly creative artsy exotic college people enjoy making 100% duct tape frisbees. Then they show it off to all their friends, and everyone’s like “Oooooo ahhhh” as if it’s like Edison inventing the light bulb all over again.

Mean college people like doing stupid pranks with duct tape like taping up their roommate or taping dorm doors shut. They get a bizarre kick out of it.

College people also like to take a single strip of duct tape and run it across their shirt and then put their name on it. This helps professors remember their name. If they don’t want their grade to be affected, they write their roommate’s name on it.

In the end, college people and duct tape go together like velcro—fast on, hard and noisy off, but the lovin’ is still there.


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#37 Sushi

College people have a secret crush on sushi. No joke. A lot of them grow very fond of it during their sophomore or junior year when they realize that their “pigging out” on junk food during their freshman year wasn’t exactly the greatest of ideas.

College people like sushi because it’s healthy and the price is not all that bad. Sushi is considered an art form, and college people find that eating something so elegantly designed is super hip. It satisfies their aggressive, hyper-activity needs to devour anything that looks like it could be devoured.

College people also find that eating sushi relieves stress and makes them horny. Agreed— sushi is the new college aphrodisiac.

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Whoever said the only time you get to dress up is on Halloween? If that were the case, college would be boring. That’s where themed parties come in, they bring a certain cool and fun vibe to any college party and allow college people to be like kids again.

A lot of times during these themed parties college people really, and I mean really get into them. It’s a time where they can let loose and just have a blast. College people have tons of different themed parties, but one of the classics and possibly overused one is the traditional “pimps and hoes” party. The name pretty much implies what it is, the guys come dressed as pimps and the girls come dressed as hoes. This is great for college people because they can bring some pretty snazzy accessories such as feather boas and fishnet stockings, stuff that you wouldn’t dare wear to class.

On a more tamed down level, every college student knows of the familiar toga themed party. Now what possibly could be better than coming in and wearing sexy Greek clothing, aka Togas? <insert laugh> Nothing. For the guys, it’s a great way to show off their muscles, for the girls it’s a great way to gawk at those muscles. College people even get a kick out of decorating or “pimping” their own toga to make it sweet and flashy.

Then there’s always the oh-so elegant pajama party where college people come dressing in their most interesting night clothes. Not only is it fun to check out others in their sleeping clothes but it’s also very practical because you can go right to bed after the party. No need to waste time changing when you get back to your room. This is also known as the “kegs and eggs” party because some college people find it fun to stay up all night and then top it off with breakfast in the morning. Although eating eggs in the morning doesn’t sound very appetizing after a night of drinking.

College people are always coming up with new and crazy ideas for themed parties. They’re all for fun, but some are really out there such as foam parties, white trash parties, bikers and babes parties, shower parties, and graffiti parties. Who would a thunk it that all these themes would be so much fun for college people? I guess they’re just a way to loosen up and make life less stressful and more fun. Boy, those crazy college kids.

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Dorm life: the interesting, crazy, horrible, wonderful and enlightening experience that college people love, especially freshmen. For many, it’s the most memorable time of their entire lives.

Such things as all night bull sessions about everything from childhood fears to ideal jobs, to sleeping on the floor in a friend’s room because your roommate deposited his supper on your room’s floor after some hard partying, are all experiences that will be etched forever in your mind.

College people love the luxury of sleeping in a dorm and all the stuff associated with it. There’s nothing better than being able to walk downstairs to the TV lounge in your pajamas and have a late night movie marathon with all your friends on a cold, rainy night. Then whenever you feel like it you can simply just leave and walk back up stairs and go to bed.

Other things such as music blasting down the halls at 3AM in the morning and crazy, loud parties all add the “cherry on top” to the college dorm experience. And all through these fun- filled adventures, tons of new friends are made in the process, and friends equal fun, so the more the better. (At least up to a certain point).

College people often say that college flies by, freshman year will feel as though it happened in a week. Despite some complaint-worthy aspects of living in university-owned housing, enjoy the fact that you don’t need to call a shuttle to visit your friends’ places after dusk and that you never have to keep track of when the rent is due. College dorm life is an experience of a lifetime. Enjoy it, savor it, hug it, embrace it, do whatever you can to make it a great time.

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#34 Air Fresheners

Whether it’s a spray, one of those plug in air fresheners, or even the air fresheners that you hang up in a car, college people often find that these little things come in handy quite a bit. Now I won’t get into the grim details, but air fresheners are especially important to college people who have their own bathroom because they may find themselves surprised at some of the smells their roommate(s) can produce.

In addition, some college people may have the unfortunate luck of being stuck across the hall from the “smelly room” or even worse, they may get stuck with a smelly roommate. If that’s the case, they may have to call their family for reinforcements, and then maybe if their roommate sees them opening up a gigantic care package full of Febreze bottles they’ll get the message.

Regardless, college people (usually) do whatever they can to avoid having a room being known as the stinky room. And it just happens to be that women are generally much better at this than men. Trust me guys, girls will enjoy themselves much more if your room doesn’t smell like a garbage dump.

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College people can’t get enough of this fun, fast paced game. The overall premise of the game is similar to football except instead of using a football, a frisbee is used. The relatively “softcore” nature of the game attracts a lot more ladies to it versus hardcore, rough football. Thus, the game is more diverse and ultimately more fun for everyone.

In a typical game, players can be seen diving left and right and running in masses wherever the frisbee is headed. When the frisbee is caught in the end zone, a loud cheer is often heard and various rituals are performed such as handshakes or pumping the fists in celebration.

Some players get more involved in the game than others. The most aggressive players throw their bodies around in reckless abandon, jumping and doing almost anything to get a hold of the frisbee. Various phrases are also yelled during the game such as “Hot catch!” when someone makes an eye-pleasing grab or “Up!” when the frisbee is in the air to alert other players of the action that is about to begin.

One thing unique about the game that college people love is that there are no referees. Rather, the game is guided by the “Spirit of the Game” which means that players must settle all disputes over fouls among themselves. It’s very interpersonal, but college people wouldn’t want it anyway different. In fact, a lot of love and even some relationships have formed because of the game. Now isn’t that just the sweetest thing.

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Ever since the uprising of cell phones with built in cameras, college people have been obsessed with taking random/stupid pictures of random/stupid things.

So what do college people like taking pictures of? Answer: Bad hair days, vomit, poop, extreme facial expressions, feet, their friend eating their homework, mud, shaving cream, themselves savagely eating their food, cookie wars, kissing, chest hair, breaking things, their bed, etc…

And if that’s not bad enough, what’s worse is that once they have all these pictures, they send them to all their friends to see! It’s like a little “look at my amazing skill at taking retarded pictures” game. It’s shockingly repulsive, but shockingly fun for college people.

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